While I am thinking of embarrassing moments and since the holidays are quickly approaching.....I have to share one more thing. Now mom, I know you are going to die that I am even writing stuff like this for everyone to read, but that is what this blog is all about......purging! So now that I am finished with the disclaimer.....the holidays were approaching and my husband and I had a brief conversation about gifts. I told him it might be nice to get something special like lingerie. Now this is where men and women clearly need to communicate a little better. I was picturing something black, silky, classy. He was not. Christmas Eve came around and my husband handed me a gift-wrapped box. I knew what it would be, so I tried to act surprised and carefully opened the box. I soon realized I didn't need to act.....I was mortified. Inside the box lay a Mrs. Claus teddy, complete with white fur around the bustline! This might be the ideal thing for a cute and petite wife, but on a double-wide wifey all it would look like was someone's been eatin' all of Santas cookies!!!! I cried and cried and of course never wore it. My husband even tried to take it back, which was really embarrassing I am sure..... A few years past and with time, humor always replaces sadness. We were sitting around thinking about that Christmas and I even thought about putting it on as a joke. I could see something strange in my husband's eyes as we reminisced....and then he blurted it out. "I forgot to get the lingerie box out of the attic before we moved!!!!!" We both just died laughing as we envisioned the poor couple that would have to find the double XL Mrs. Claus suit.....at least I never wore it!!!!!

They announced that the women are going to be practicing a song to sing in church. My mind instantly went back in time...14 years ago. I had just given birth to my second son. The pregnancy had added to my already fat body, and pushed me into a new category of morbidly obese. A few weeks of "rest" and I was expected to return to the normal things in life. Housework, school and church. The Sunday I returned to church, there was an all women's choir singing in sacrament meeting. Since I had just had a baby, I was too emotional to go up with the group and sing. Afterwards, several people asked why I didn't sing with the group and if I was okay. Blah Blah Blah..... It wasn't like I was depressed or anything, I just didn't want to go up! The next week, the Bishop announced that after the first speaker, the sisters will sing. What the heck? Two weeks in a row? I knew I had to go up this time so people wouldn't wonder what was wrong with me. I didn't even know what song they were doing, but I decided I would go up anyways. As soon as the first speaker said Amen, I got up and headed towards the pulpit. I finally reached the front of the chapel and to my dismay a quartet of women had gathered. It wasn't the whole women's choir. It was a well rehearsed, well organized group of four that surely wondered where this crazy fifth member had come from. Of course being Christ like as they were, the one lady took my hand and let me sing with them. I could barely utter out the words, and my husband said I was white as a ghost. To top it off....the song was "O My Father" the longest, slowest hymn in the book!!!!! By the way, even if I had been skinny.....it still would have been one of the worst days of my life.